So there are more people coming to this site these days which is cool. I don’t get anything out of it, monetarily, any ads you see are from WordPress. I tend to be an open book which I’ve been wondering for days if that was a smart idea or not considering that I now have higher visibility and therefore more crazy people who will use whatever little tidbits of info they can find and throw it back in my face. It’s weird. But let’s face it, I’m not changing at this point.
I’m obviously not new to the internet or how people freak the fuck out on each other over the internet but I’m surprised by how differently it is when it’s actually directed at you. I had just watched Patrick Klepek’s talk last week about vitriol on the internet before all of this 720p and OS crashing stuff blew up and I was thinking “you gotta just let that roll off your back, man.” Which is also what he was saying. Now, these days I have a lot of people telling me that. It’s not that any individual comment (other than death threats… those are a special kind of creepy) affects me but every once in a while I get this surge of “Holy fuck do I really want to deal with this much hate on a regular basis? I’m not even getting paid for this!”
There is a very distinct pleasure in being right though. Especially when you are getting 100s of tweets/PMs/emails/etc telling you that you’re full of shit. I love that feeling. In sports you’ll often hear rookies talk about being motivated to prove to every team that didn’t draft them that they fucked up. I never really understood that feeling… I’m not big on ego. But it’s not just ego, it’s self-defense. You think you’re doing something good, others say no, and you want so badly to throw it back in their face when you were right and they were wrong.
Which, I guess, leads me to the nature of being a ‘leaker.’ What I do isn’t really worth a shit. On a technical level all I do is take info that someone else gave me and make it public. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do it. It doesn’t prove anything about my intellect or anything like that. I do an awful lot of cross checking with sources before I make anything public which is the closest it ever comes to being work. But really… I don’t think I’m hot shit because I knew that CoD was 720p on the Xbox One. I do feel like hot shit, however, if you went off on me and now have gone back in your hidey-hole. You all are anonymous on the internet, going off on me. I’m divulging corporate secrets with my real goddamn name. I mean seriously, I’m pretty much an idiot! I’m also making posts about family members being murdered, struggles with anxiety, etc. I’m feeding your anonymous hate machine with actual information from a real person that isn’t hiding.
After feeling anxious for a few days I realized that I’m the brave one. I’m not out here making shit up to make this site more popular or give me more “neogaf cred” whatever the fuck that even is. No matter what I do at this point it won’t be as awesome as #PS4NoDRM and if all I cared about was internet cred I would just ride the wave of that until the end of time. I made my mark. But, no, I actually like videogames quite a bit and I enjoy writing/talking about them. A lot of news I’ve had lately has been bad news… DriveClub Delay, 720p CoD, OS issues, etc. That’s not my fault. I’m not here to be negative. Microsoft people on GAF know that I also gave them quite a bit of good news before E3 about what games they were going to see including what surprising companies would be on stage with them. I report shit as I learn it. I don’t have an agenda. I do have preferences… because, well, I’m human – and so do you. But it’s not like I shied away from the DriveClub story because it was bad news for Sony. It was REALLY bad news for Sony, it was 1/3 of their first party lineup and their lube for forcing PS+ on us. Historically have I liked Sony games more than Microsoft games? Yes. Does that matter if I get a piece of info about something? Not at all. I’m not a console warrior. Until someone hires me I don’t give a shit about anyone’s profits. Vita is selling like shit – I don’t care – all I care is that it has games coming that I want. When that stops I’ll care.
People get really hung up on sales. Early today there were quite a few Nintendo fans in my twitter feed bugging out about Wii U sales. Now, there’s no way to spin it that it’s selling well… but if you own a Wii U are there games coming that you want? Do you want Mario? Do you want Mario Kart? Do you want Smash? Do you want X? I’ll answer for you…. yes, yes you do. So who gives a fuck. You already bought the system. The one and only sale that matters already took place. Watching the Media Create charts each week is only going to make you miserable. Though, special shoutout to those that are defensive about Wii U sales and then total dicks about 3DS sales (and likewise for Sony people who are like that with PS3/4 and the Vita). It takes a special kind of lack of self-awareness to achieve that.
Anyway, I’m just going to keep being me. I’m also going to turn comments on and leave them completely open… no need to register or anything. That was my ideal when I got 5 hits a week and that’s how I’ll keep it now. If you want to accuse me of just making shit up – fine – I’ll just feed on the satisfaction of knowing that you were wrong when the truth comes out. And at some point I will be wrong. Everyone is. And when that happens everyone who hates my guts will get to taste the sweet juices of victory. Also, I swear a lot and I make myself part of the story. Sorry if you hate that but, well, fuck it.
Sound good? Just don’t, like, actually murder me.